Kony 2012?

Danny gives his take on Kony 2012 from what he’s read and seen in his limited research.

Stop at nothing? Sure, I’m doing nothing, therefore I shall stop. In more seriousness, there should be no debate about the fact that child soldiering and prostitution is an atrocity. As a result, Kony must be brought to justice, more specifically, the International Criminal Court in The Hague. However, in order for you to not think that I am a maniac as you read the rest of this post, you’re going to have to watch this excerpt from this week’s 10 O’Clock Live featuring the hilarious (sometimes disgustingly funny) Charlie Brooker talking about Kony 2012. And, of course, duh, if you haven’t actually seen the ACTUAL Kony 2012 video, here it is. It is nearly half an hour long, so make sure you set aside enough time to watch it and have enough sustenance for the duration, there are no commercial breaks.

Have you watched the videos? No? Okay, it’s not like I’m doing anything else, I have all the time in the world to wait, this post stays this way regardless if you’ve watched the videos or not. It’s just a block of text, it can wait till you’re finished. Or you can just ignore the links and just read what I have to say, be intrigued or disgusted by what I say, and then you will click on the links. Either way, just make sure you watch them.

I’m not going to be telling you to join the movement. In fact, I’m not going to tell you to do anything. That’s your prerogative. If you decide to help the cause and bring Kony to justice, great! If not, well, cool! I’m not going to tell you why Kony is bad and therefore needs to be stopped, that’s pretty well covered by the video and other Kony Movement members. I’m here to tell you why we should take a step back and look at what’s really going on.

Kony 2012, apparently…

The Kony 2012 video itself, is fascinating to say the least. Yet in my mind, it is the same as a V8 vegetable juice drink. So good, yet so bad in so many ways. I mean seriously, it’s drinking cold tomato soup, how is it possible that it tastes so good? But I digress. The video itself, like nearly all videos made by Invisible Children, is impeccably edited. It was actually very cool how they sort of made a 3D-ish image of ol’ Joe Kony right before they cut to Chief Prosecutor Ocampo’s interview. Visually, there is no problem. I have to say though,  the problem for me, was Jason Russell’s voice. I know that this is his baby (Gavin Russell being his other), but sometimes, people just need to know when their voice isn’t suited for particular tasks. Russell, although he conveys what he has to say with much conviction and compassion, has the voice of a metrosexual Southern Californian man, which he is. And it’s not just him, I’m not singling him out, but American accents, in general, just don’t convey the level of seriousness that many other accents do. In fact, the only American voices I can think of that can carry such a video in the way it deserves would be that of Morgan Freeman or James Earl Jones. Deep, sonorous, voices.

Somewhere on Earth, a sound recordist just came

Because of Russell’s voice, the video didn’t quite do it for me, but clearly, it did for everybody else. With practically 80 million views, Kony 2012 is more viral than ebola. It’s like it was designed to get views. That’s probably because it is. Jason Russell isn’t just a Samaritan and leader of a charity, according to research by Charlie Brooker, he is also a professional evangelical propagandist. Sort of the good guy version of Joseph Goebbels (Google is your friend! Or is it? Post on that when I get around to it), without the gimpy leg and batshit insane boss. Let me just say this, to clarify, there is NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING RELIGIOUS. I can’t stress that point enough.

However, this makes you think, why the hate on Kony, other than the obvious? A quick Google search on “War Crimes” and “Uganda” pops up many links to news articles such as this one and this one. Wait a second, in that second one, isn’t that Chief Prosecutor Ocampo? Why yes it is! Yes, the ICC is also investigating the Ugandan military for war crimes. And it’s not like it is just Kony supporters crying wolf, because as Kony 2012 clearly states, Kony has no supporters. These are probably legitimate cries of very real war crimes happening, but yet Kony 2012, doesn’t even mention the fact that the Ugandan military is a problem. Hell, the video doesn’t even really acknowledge that Kony has left Uganda for the bloodier pastures of Sudan, Central African Republic and the Congo going only as far to say that “he’s changed his tactics.”

So why just Kony? Just some logical thinking: Is it because Kony and his Lord’s Resistance Army (as Rush Limbaugh loves to point out at Obama’s “expense”) associate themselves with Christianity and are giving Christians in Africa a bad rep thereby making it difficult for missionaries to do their work? Is that what it’s all about? Probably not, but not impossible. Kony has been around for 25 years and Invisible Children for 7. As Kony 2012 shows, if Russell really wanted to, he could have brought a massive amount of awareness down on Kony immediately, or at least, sooner. Regardless, it’s clear that this isn’t really about war crimes, its just Kony and intervening in Uganda.

“Sluts” and the LRA being “good Christians”, how does this guy still have an audience, let alone a job?

Intervening in Uganda? Why else would the United States want to intervene in Uganda? Of course stopping Kony is a plus! Even if he isn’t even there anymore! Do you remember in the Kony 2012 video how there were both Republicans AND Democrats working together? Isn’t that weird in this extremely partisan age of politics in the US? And wasn’t it a Republican congressman who, on camera, publicly spurred on Russell and Invisible Children to raise awareness for the fight against Kony so that the American troops that have been deployed can stay? Wait a second, what’s this? There is oil in Uganda?

Yes there is oil in Uganda. It was found, just about 7 years ago, around the same time that Invisible Children was founded. Of course people would argue that, if oil was so important, the US would have barged in ages ago. Perhaps, but do people remember John McCain? Yes, that old guy who went against Obama. When he was running for president, one of his main talking points was “drill, drill, drill!” Because apparently, the only way to make the United States less dependable on oil, is to get more oil. That’s like trying to wean a coke addict off cocaine by giving him his own plantation (that’s how you make cocaine right?). People quickly scoffed at McCain because everyone knows that if you want to reap the benefits of oil drilling, it takes a few years at the least before actual oil is gained. So now, years later, drilling for oil in Uganda is in full swing, and look who comes to the rescue!

But that’s just more conspiracy theories, I highly doubt Russell is doing this for the US government to get into the Ugandan oil. No, he stated from the start, he’s doing all this to spread awareness. And it appears that really is all he does. About a third of the donations to Invisible Children goes to Africa. Instead the rest of the money goes to other projects. Little do people know, that Invisible Children have their own youth camp that are supposed to breed a new revolution called the Fourth Estate. It even has its own creepy New World Ordery logo:

The only people who use the red, white and black color schemes for logos are EVIL BANKS and the Nazis.

Yes, what I actually think is going on is that this whole Kony 2012 thing is just a PR stunt by Jason Russell and Invisible Children to raise awareness, not just about Kony, but for Invisible Children itself and its programs such as the Fourth Estate. I mean, are we seriously supposed to believe that once Kony is done for, Jason Russell and Invisible Children, with their new-found followers will just pack up and go “yep, job well done guys, now let’s go back to our boring lives of nothing.” I guess that makes “Stop at Nothing” meaningful.

Regardless of what you think of Jason Russell, be it he is a fantastic Samaritan, an industrious propagandist, a raging evangelical or a puppet of an ever oil thirstier US government, there is no doubt that he is a raging maniac.

Yes, breaking news, just in, Jason Russell has been arrested. According to The Washington Post,he was “detained for being drunk in public.” However, a British newspaper, The Guardian, without the care for our American sensibilities has the title: “Kony 2012 campaigner Jason Russell detained for masturbating in public.” Oh, silly me, that’s also in The Washington Post.

It seems that being publicly famous isn’t good for the mental well being of Mr Russell, so let’s do him and ourselves a favor. If for no other reason, let’s quickly get rid of this asshole Kony so that Jason Russell (and his potential ulterior motives) no longer has to or will be in the public consciousness, we just can’t have public masturbation being the thing now, I mean can you imagine Rush Limbaugh doing that? Sorry for that image.

Good bye handsome man who could possibly be evil, but probably isn’t!

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